I know that it has been almost a year since the last entry. I've found hope. Albeit, the way I will describe it is as physical hope, but it is something that reaches into every part of my life. At the end of Summer 2007 I weighed in at 260lbs. I saw what I was, and even though people loved me anyway, I was tired. So very very tired of this lifestyle. So very tired of feeling unattractive. So very tired of looking at myself in the mirror and not being able to reconcile my inner confidence with the outer portrayal. So tired of making myself believe that I would always look this way, or worse, or better for only a little while. Simply...tired of it. I'd spent too many days crying over it, too much time delving into strange diets, too much of my mental capacity over both justifying and hating it. So I made a change. Someday I will truly write about this in great detail...I believe it merits the attention. But, the bare facts are these: I very heavily cut down on the amount of sugar I took in. I simply made it a routine to get at least 30 minutes of exercise two to three times a week (cardiovascular, for the most part). I ate, for the most part, salad and fruit for lunch as often as was possible and convenient. And, I made it worth my while. I made it enjoyable. Instead of seeing what I was and hating it, I simply envisioned where I wanted to be and made it an incredible journey. I am still on this journey...but I am so far along that it is time to look back at the steps I've made and simply sigh...perhaps even shed a tear at the distance I've traveled. I now weigh 208lbs (as of yesterday). I've lost...that's right, mathematicians...a total of 52lbs in the course of about 8 months. And though it seems like a lot now, the truth is, I took it in much the manner of this quote my mother inspired me with and which I have carried into all parts of my life: "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." And so, one bite at a time, this elephant is being devoured. And with each bite each week comes a bit of joy, a thrill at the journey, an energy to take the next bite for the next week. I am not done with my elephant. No, I like to leave the dinner table with a clean plate (a paradox considering the topic, I realize). However, the differences are significant. I feel so much more confident in myself, not only physically, but emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and relationally. I look at myself in the mirror, and although I see, as sculptors must, the prized image hidden neath the marble to be chiseled away, I can only admire what work has already been accomplished. I feel, quite simply, far lighter than I have in years. I daresay I haven't been as healthy as I am in at least six or seven years. The sense of accomplishment is by far more gratifying than I can possibly describe. To all those who wish to accomplish something long term, allow me to encourage you: patience pays off... and elephants aren't such heavy meals after all. Peace and Godlove,
K R A W Z F I A R
S T O N E | 
